“You’re rubbing it in the wrong direction, Dana, that doesn’t feel good. Please stop.” – Chris, 1/22/18
“What’s sharting?” – Meredith, 1/29/18
“Not even kidding, you would make an amazing goat herder.” – Dana to Lindy, 3/12/18
“Captain fuzzy-butt, look at your fuzzy-butt!” – Dana, 3/12/18
“I used to be quite crunchy!” – Nicole, 3/26/18
“He used to just lick his own nipples” – Matt 2018-03-26
“By the way, speaking of pain points and delightful rubbing…” – Nicole, 4/2/18
“She white privileges the shit out of our bed.” – Chris, 4/9/18
“Why the fuck does the world hate my goddamn mint pants?” – Chris at the #eisenweddingbells, 6/9/18
“Ahahaha… We’re unpleasant.” – Dana, 7/9/18
“Boggy pussy!” – Nicole, 9/24/18
Nicole: “He looks like the kind of guy that buys dinner and expects to get laid.”
Dana: “It’s the turtleneck.” – 9/24/18
“She touched someone with her breast-tit.” – Dana, 10/15/18
“Are we talking about boggy pussy?” – Nicole, 10/15/18
“Don’t put your mustache on me!” – Nicole, 11/12/18
“I have a sumptuous thigh.” – Will, 11/12/18
“I was trying to figure out how to spell ‘sumptuous’.” – Matt, 11/12/18
“Oh hey! I can start drinking!” – Will, 11/26/18
“We’re going to have a week of science fiction pornography!” – Will, 11/26/18
“I do want to run the dishwasher but I also want to watch pornography with our friends.” – Will, 11/26/18
“I liked Calendar Girls…” – Kamrin, 11/26/18
“Oh wait, I do need to touch this, too.” – Will, 12/10/18
“I’m not articulate, but I’m not wrong!” – Aaron, 1/14/19
“It’s like a cock garter.” – David, 1/14/19
“Will, do you have some good smut on tap for me?” – Chris, 2/25/19
“…about to deep-throat an airplane.” – Nicole, 2/25/19
“Oh Jesus, you don’t take his athletic socks off with your mouth!” – Nicole, 2/25/19
“I was looking up Jeopardy subreddits…” – Aaron, 3/18/19
“Anybody want any green penises?” – Natalie, 4/15/19
“I am the incest, it’s fine… It’s real.” – Nicole, 4/29/19
“Let me tell you about Caligula.” – Will, 4/29/19
“Have you ever rubbed your taint on someone?” – Dana, 8/12/19
“The thin ones need lubrication.” – Natalie, 8/12/19
“I was trying to think of a direct Minnesotan, but I don’t think I know any.” – Efrat, 8/12/19
“He is not a spinner of yarns.” – Dana, on David, 10/7/19
“What am I eating? Oh! Butt! Thank you!” – Dana, 10/7/19
“I don’t know that much about Juggalos.” “Then why are you trying to step to me?” -Nicole and Will, 2019-10-14
“The Papa John’s eugenics movement: better ingredients, better people!” – Will, 10/14/19
“SKELEPENIS!” – Natalie, Nicole, & Dana in unison, 3/2/20
“There is so much literal feces in our backyard, we don’t even sit back there!” – Efrat, 9/7/20
“Caroline, dear, are you having rice cakes and vodka for dinner?” – Dana
“No! I’m having rice cakes and gin.” – Caroline, 12/7/20
“This tastes like a musty booty skittle.” – Will, 8/9/21
“Monday Night Whippets!” – Will, 8/30/21
“That’s like pandemic formal!” – Austin, on Aaron’s ‘pajama’ pants, 4/11/22